btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
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drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
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we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
try to milk me bitch
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