i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize