Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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