Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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