I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Farmville is her only friend.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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