I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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