so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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