i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
so let's talk penis.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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