My Higher Power is John Stamos
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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