I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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