I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
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I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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