I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
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Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize