Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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