addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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