She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
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What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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