Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize