Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize