I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize