Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
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