Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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