In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
i believe in u and ur pee
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize