just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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