I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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