Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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