i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Randomize