Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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