why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize