I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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