That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
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You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
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His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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