girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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