apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize