yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize