he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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