Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize