I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
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THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
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It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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