my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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