I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
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I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
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I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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