I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
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