Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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