don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize