We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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