I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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