Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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