What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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