Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize