1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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