Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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