I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Sober January is a disaster.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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