Got a toothbrush?
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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