Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
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