She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i just sent this text using only my big toe
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize